Someday I will only be a piece of her past
by BlueMango
Summary: Nico ponders when things had gone wrong with Gwen. Songfic inspired by Mumford & Sons' "After The Storm."


**Gwico** was created by** mew-tsubaki**, please give her a small mention if you wrote them, thanks. :)

Disclaimer: The _Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus _cast belongs to Rick Riordan_, _not to me. The lyrics used—and inspired by—are from the song "_After the Storm" _by Mumford & Sons.

Please enjoy this oneshot!

-8-

**When had things gone wrong? How had such a storm brewed?**

_And after the storm,_

_I run and run as the rains come_

_And I look up, I look up,_

_on my knees and out of luck,_

_I look up._

"Father, I have something to say." Nico had grabbed Gwen's hand, and she had clung to his arm with such force. "Gwendolyn is my girlfriend," he had breathed, the longing to tell his father being lifted from him.

Hades had paused for a second. He then had scanned the two demigods, looking as if they would give one another his or her life for the other. Persephone couldn't help but be happy at the sight of a couple, but she had shown some disdain, for Nico wasn't her son. Demeter, however, had dropped her cereal bowl.

"I shall not accept this. I do _not _want Nico to start a familial line." Her screech had echoed so strongly throughout the walls, he could have sworn that cracks appeared.

**And so the storm had begun.**

_Night has always pushed up day_

_You must know life to see decay_

_But I won't rot, I won't rot_

_Not this mind and not this heart,_

_I won't rot._

Nico now lay on the mountain to which he and Gwen so often had escaped. The sun fell into dusk, scattering its light rays across the mountain range. As he settled into the comfort of the grass, Nico remembered the time he'd wished his sun wouldn't cry.

It had broken his soul and it had made him feel rotten. The sun and moon had sat on the shrine of Hades' rooftop, her light flickering on and off. There had been days where she would shine brightly—when their relationship was at the highest peak of the mountain and no one could push them down. Except Gwen had tripped and fallen, because someone—more specifically, Demeter—had pushed her down.

Gwen didn't mention it after a year of being together, but she couldn't handle it anymore; Demeter was sucking away her light. She was snuffing her out in subtle ways. Gwen told him of the times Demeter had messed with her mind. Whenever she ate grain-based food, Demeter would make the food taste like death. A normal piece of bread tasted like dying souls; cereal and milk was filled with the evil darkness that made one not want to sleep at night. Whenever Gwen slept, the food digesting in her stomach caused dreams of hellish monsters and her being shackled, being tortured repeatedly. Demeter wasn't making her dream only of decay; Gwen was being forced to dream of the end of every little thing.

Nico wished Gwen would have told him sooner. He had caressed her face then and leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek. She immediately had turned away, her head sinking between her knees. "I felt like I was dying all the time," Gwen finally had confessed. "The rotting feeling ripped up my heart. I tasted death, and I learned too much about death for a living person…"

Nico wished he could be the darkness for her, the good kind that she _did_ know. He wished he could be her strength as he once had, but he knew she was slipping away.

"**I'm scared of you, Nico."**

_And I took you by the hand_

_And we stood tall,_

_And remembered our own land,_

_What we lived for._

Nico had a hard time pulling out of that memory of being atop the roof of Pluto's shrine. He felt unsettled as he turned to plant his face in the ground. He somehow managed, though, when his brain brought back images of him with Gwen when the two ventured onto the mountaintop. His heart pounded as he smiled in remembrance of being beside her on the summit. He could feel crisp air, which, at the time, was a good excuse to cuddle his lover. Being atop the mountain with Gwen gave Nico clear sight of the world. Their relationship made him live life so much more. As he looked down at the scenery, he could notice the intricate details that painted the whole picture.

He would move closer, she would move closer, and the two would take in each other's face. He could see the whole world, galaxies, dimensions, shooting stars, birth, beginnings, and endings. He smoothed away her hair, her Milky Way-like eyes sparkling. A rush of electricity made Gwen jolt whenever his breath tickled her nose as he closed in for a kiss. One kiss wasn't enough, two just was not right, three was getting better…infinite was what they knew best. But if Gwen showed him beginnings, she would also show him endings.

As he woke up from his afternoon daze, Nico looked up at the sky. What was Gwen doing now? Would she remember the time as he had? He shook his head, thankful for Gwen, knowing he could begin again as he brought himself back to reality: the reality of helping to save the world. It was tough to save the world sometimes; there was a lot of pressure in such a short amount of time.

**But he could breathe just a little easier this time.**

_And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears._

_And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears._

_Get over your hill and see what you find there,_

_With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair._

He didn't want to see her like this. There was a look in Gwen's eyes that she was losing herself. She was going somewhere far away from Nico.

_Why_ Gwen? Nico thought to himself as he found Gwen crouched over in a field, fiddling with the wildflowers, not saying much to him…forever gone.

Nico knew that Demeter hated him; she didn't want him to be happy. He knew she was cackling behind her stupid cereal bowl. Nico cursed Demeter.

Nico cursed himself when he saw Gwen wasn't being herself. She was in despair; she was in a world without love. If anyone needed to be loved, it was Gwen—she deserved the best in the world. But as Gwen had fallen more in love with Death's son, Demeter had used this to her advantage. She had messed with Gwen's mind to confuse love with death.

Nico looked at Gwen as she put flowers in her hair. It was a simple crown full of daisies and wildflowers, but such simplicity made Gwen beautiful. Yet her eyes looked broken, messed with, and hid a tortured soul.

He clenched his fists, knowing what he had to do: he had to let her go. It was the only way for her to love again. He was a constant reminder of death to her. He needed to let her go so she could find the truest love that would not drive her insane, the fixable love where after arguments the lovers would just crawl back to each other. But that idea did not apply to Nico and her, because she was crawling _away_.

_And now I cling to what I knew_

_I saw exactly what was true_

_But oh, no more._

_That's why I hold,_

_That's why I hold with all I have._

_That's why I hold._

Nico held Gwen once again as she shivered. He knew he was causing her pain; he was death and she was scared. He wanted to hold on to her forever, but he knew that wasn't going to happen.

He needed to do what was right.

"Gwen…," he whispered softly.

She looked up, her eyes pulsing red.

"I'm sorry for what's happened. I hate seeing you like this. My core rots and your core rots. Demeter has pushed you off the mountain we climbed. She's made you afraid of me, and nothing I can do will change it. You've already gone; you're not here anymore. The love we knew is gone. Even though I'm dying inside…I need to let you go." He paused, for it took all of his strength to tell her this. "I want you to live and breathe life, not eat and digest death. I can't control Demeter; I can only love you and try to protect you as much as possible, but that's not working. I want you to live and to love, but also learn to accept death and not be afraid of it. Otherwise, I fear you'd hate me. When you leave, I just want you to see me as Nico. The Nico you knew, not the death that Demeter's put in your head. So please, Gwen, love again." Nico grabbed Gwen's hand as she cried at his words.

She started to question when things had gone wrong. But Gwen couldn't go back; she could only go forward. Her breathing became choppy as she tried to produce words. Nico laughed as she hiccupped a few times, and she smiled slightly as well.

"Now go climb your own mountain, please." Nico smirked, but it was hard to keep it straight—he was letting go of his _one true love_.

She nodded, tears falling from her eyes. The sky was silver, but no silver lining existed. The two stood atop their mountain, the place where their love had begun…and now was ending. The breeze went through their bodies, making the reality of their end hit them like a storm. As Gwen looked to Nico one last time, she started to turn away. Nico held on to her hands, though, and she stayed in place. He quickly was forgetting that she had to go and that he needed to let her go.

Her hands slipped from his. She took a step, looked back, pushed back her hair as she bent down to pick up a wildflower and a daisy, and took another step forward. He could have sworn he heard her picking the petals, saying, "Stay with him…don't stay with him." Her walk looked pained, but it was like a ritual: step, look back at what she knew, step forward, wish to go back to the past, fear to go forward…but she was disappearing into the distance…

…**and it was the beginning of the end.**

_And I won't die alone and be left there._

_Well I guess I'll just go home,_

_Oh God knows where._

_Because death is just so full and man so small._

_Well I'm scared of what's behind and what's before._

The feeling of release now hit Nico again. He contemplated how everything that was right suddenly had disappeared; he didn't realize how quickly things could change. It made Nico scared for a minute at how he could have loved someone that much. But it made him realize how something so small could create something bigger. He smiled at the memory; something so simple was all he needed to live—and to die. In spite of being death himself, he had gained a love so great that he now could die in peace.

Right now he was alive, but he was without that love. He felt no wounds; all he felt was love when he'd let her go. Even though uncertainty would hit him over and over, and the road without Gwen wouldn't be the same, he loved her all the same—all he needed to do was release her with love.

**Because he had gained a love that already had lasted him a lifetime.**

_And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears._

_And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears._

_Get over your hill and see what you find there,_

_With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair._

Nico held a favorite memory, though, one that he'd take with him to the grave. He picked himself off from the ground, patted the dirt off his pants, and started to make his way down the slope, away from all that he once knew so that he could start somewhere new. He looked back at the peak of the mountain where he replayed that moment a thousand times over:

"_Nico! What are you looking at?!" She gripped her white dress to keep it from blowing in the wind. Her hands held on to her crown, full of multicolored wildflowers and white daisies. The two demigods were on their mountain, their love spot and the foundation of their relationship. Nico loved this foundation; it was what he needed to live and to die._

"_Nothing. It's just, you look…" He walked closer to her._

_She put her hands on her waist. "What?"_

"…_beautiful."_

_He walked even closer and he put his arms through hers, and his hands moved along her healthy, Roman figure, traveling across the wrinkles of her dress. She smiled and put a daisy and wildflower crown on his head._

"_One day we'll have the chance to be the king and queen."_

_He smiled as he leaned in to kiss her, atop the mountain—their mountain. The two experienced the whole world in that instant, and all the instances to come. He leaned forward and hugged her tight, kissing her neck, trailing to her jawline, up to her eyes, nose, and finished the lap to her lips again. He put his forehead to hers and replied,_

"_**We already have."**_

_And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears._

_And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears._

_Get over your hill and see what you find there,_

_With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair._

-8-

**Let's just take a moment of silence for the break-up of Gwen and Nico. I'm not sure Nico can rescue that death in the Underworld, though. Sorry, Nico! I had to say that. But I love him anyways. Too much. I think I'll always insert how much I love him. That aside, I wanted to try something different with Gwen and Nico. I hope that you felt the feels as I had when writing this piece.**

**Please let me know what you think by slipping in a review. ;)**

**Thanks to mew-tsubaki for beta'ing this piece. You should go check out her stuff!**


End file.
